In my most recent coaching session, I sought guidance on an upcoming meeting with my management colleagues, directors, and SVP. I was nervous because I had received information about a change I didn’t agree with—one that I believed would significantly impact my team. (It turned out my concerns were based on a misunderstanding, and my anxiety was unnecessary.)
As I explained my concerns, the questions I had, and my apprehension about how “pushing back” might be perceived, my coach interrupted with a thought-provoking question:
Why do you think you’re pushing back? What I hear is your curiosity about the change and a desire to understand where it’s coming from.
That question completely reframed my perspective. Why did I instinctively view my desire to understand leadership decisions as resistance? Shouldn’t gathering context and reasoning be part of my role as an effective change agent for my team? Isn’t deeper understanding essential for:
- Ensuring I have the right information before expressing concerns?
- Framing concerns in a productive and constructive way?
This internalized fear of questioning leadership likely stems from deep-seated patterns in my psychology—an exploration for another time. But recognizing this mindset allows me to be more mindful in leadership interactions. Moving forward, when I feel anxiety creeping in, I’ll pause and ask myself:
Am I feeling anxious because I’m mislabeling my curiosity as pushback?
Strengthening My Curiosity Muscle
Since this realization, I’ve also noticed other ways my curiosity (or lack thereof) manifests. Sometimes, I accept information or suggestions at face value without deeper exploration. If I want to continue growing as a technical leader, I need to challenge myself to dig deeper and ensure I have a well-rounded understanding before making decisions.
My Commitment to Mindful Curiosity
To foster this growth, I’m setting the following personal challenges:
- Reframing curiosity – Asking leadership questions to understand a decision isn’t an act of defiance; it’s a tool for learning, effective communication, and advocacy for my team.
- Seeking deeper understanding – Instead of passively accepting information, I’ll actively engage, research, and explore different perspectives to develop a more informed viewpoint.
Curiosity isn’t resistance—it’s a leadership strength. If I can embrace this mindset, I’ll not only become a stronger advocate for my team but also continue evolving as a leader.
What about you? Have you ever mistaken curiosity for pushback? How do you challenge yourself to ask better questions and seek deeper understanding? Let’s discuss in the comments!